Saturday, December 31, 2011

Spoiler Alert.

Hey people.

I feel the need to remind anyone who may read this, I'm writing for a very select audience.

The only people who follow this blog are my grandmother, my sister, and my aunt. While I know my sister doesn't check blogs anymore, my aunt and grandmother may check this blog on occasion and read with the greatest of interest.

Teresa, Bernice. You might want to stop reading right now. I'm not held responsible if you go running and screaming.

Anywho.

I'm really interested in cross-dressing. Like, a lot. I know that I've always liked the idea. Watching ms. doubtfire, tootsie and dame edna always made me really happy inside. And seeing as I'm about to have my own source of income, I'm probably going to be buying some womens clothes, a wig, and (obviously) a fake pair of breasts.

I don't know when or where I would do it. I'm just thinking it would be really nice to go out for tea on the weekend, sit with my legs crossed by a window, and write. If someone nearby says hi, I would introduce myself as Lucy, and chuckle on the inside. But I would really enjoy playing dress up, and being a chick.

I ask myself what this means, but I really can't find an answer. Maybe I'm trying to escape, but from what I have no idea. I just want to do this. Maybe I'll hate it, but I can only know if I try.

Ya....

Merry christmas?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

???

So, I'm pretty sure the only person who reads this is my grandma

Hey Grandma

I might as well talk to you through this roundabout means of communication because lets face it, its more interesting then just sending you a message. I mean, being efficient, really?

I don't think acting is my path. It's not quantifiable, I can't just play anymore. Everything needs to be done to get better, but theres no way to know whether you are. It's becoming work, and I don't think I turn my favourite childhood activity into a profession. Acting is a wonderful pass time, but as far as life is concerned, it feels too crazy for me to handle.

I'm really feeling it for technical theatre. I mean, for one, its highly quantifiable. You hang a light, and you've hung light. Job done. Two, theres actually a good market for jobs. Three, I don't have to delve into myself and dredge out this cornucopia of feelings. (ok, not the best excuse, but still) And finally, It means I get to be part of theatre. Which is my love.

This whole situation really begs the question, will tech give me what I want. Can I find happiness through that as opposed to acting? I don't expect you to answer, grandma, but I thought it was a question worth posing.

I'll figure it out in time, I guess. Such is Life.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Happenstance

So, I feel like I have to get this off my chest, before i step into the big bad world, and get stabbed for my mistake.

Long story short, I thought I was gay. Did some soul searching, felt very conflicted, and discovered I'm not. After telling everyone I was.

Well, the good news is, I know who I am. So, I get to confidently stride into the world, and say, "Come to me, my shapely long haired love." The bad news is, telling everyone, "Hey. So, i'm a crazy adolescent who is confused. Sorry, but No Homo."

Thanks for listening, Internet. Good to know I can spout my feelings to the air, and pretend that someones listening.