How young am I?

If i play my cards right, I can be a wild youth till i'm 30. Seeing as I began partying 2 years ago, that means out of a potential 15 wild years, I still have 13 years of them. Pow, I am young and far too concerned with myself. I should accept that at 17, I have an explosive amount of potential, yet absolutely no training. Therefore, the best path that I can currently see, is the either, A) Blindly create with an extreme disregard for what my head tells me is garbage, or B) Hold this creativity close to my heart, so that the day i have a ravine of my river of creative thought, it shall flow like no tomorrow.

Seeing as apathy and self-concern is too overpowering at the present time, option B seems to be the most feasible. However, I am once again not factoring in the fact that i am stupidly young. In 5 years, I'll have a crap load of training, yet, hopefully, I'll still have most of, if not more, of the creative thoughts.

Right now, I'm seeing talent explode around me, and it concerns me. I see fireworks, which burst forth into the world with brilliance. It frightens me, feeling like I am no firework, and therefor no artist, no creator. It is my deepest hope and wish, that i am instead a candle. Something that will go on and on into the world, with a sustaining light, that guides others.

So, in short, I will not let my sloth disturb me. I am not lazy, because of apathy. I am timid, because of fear of impotence. The system has ingrained such fear of technical correctness, that any and all attempts to do something in innocence, and ernest, are hampered considerably.

I feel like I'm mumbling in lofty ideological terms. But you know what? I like using lofty ideological terms. It gives my petty thoughts a feeling of grandeur unbecoming of their position in life. I think thats what being an actor is all about.